


Geyarajan (Gandharva)

by TheTravelerWrites



Series: Shelter Forest: The Towns [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Broken limb, Childhood Sweethearts, Exophilia, F/M, Gandharva - Freeform, MONSTER FUCKER, Memory lapse, Puppy Love, Separation, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:50:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22810063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTravelerWrites/pseuds/TheTravelerWrites
Summary: An angsty story about childhood love that gets torn apart by family and circumstance! Please leave feedback!In Hinduism, the Gandharvas are male nature spirits and husbands of the Apsaras, the spirits of clouds and air. Some are part animal, usually a bird or horse. They have superb musical skills. They guard the Soma and make beautiful music for the gods in their palaces. Gandharvas are frequently depicted as singers in the court of the gods. Gandharvas in the historic sense acted as messengers between the gods and humans; today they are depicted as imitators, cheaters, liars and those who have tricked themselves 'into being god'. In Hindu law, a gandharva marriage is one contracted by mutual consent and without formal rituals.
Relationships: Female Human/Male Gandharva
Series: Shelter Forest: The Towns [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1578637
Comments: 12
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

You couldn’t remember exactly how old you were, perhaps six or seven, when you first met Geyarajan. You’d heard singing in the forest as you played in the garden behind your house, and though you knew you shouldn’t go into the woods alone, you couldn’t ignore the draw of the sound. After maybe ten minutes, you stumbled upon a clearing wherein a boy was singing, though he was unlike any other child you’d ever met.

Your village was human only; beasts and monsters were not allowed to settle there. In fact, non-human merchants were discouraged from selling their wares in the area and non-human travelers weren’t welcome in the taverns or inns. In your short life, you’d only seen a person who wasn’t human maybe twice, and only in passing. You didn’t quite understand why, but you were a small child and didn’t think to question it.

Not until you met Geyarajan. When you first saw him, you were mesmerized by his music. You sat and listened as still as a statue, afraid of spooking him, except when he stopped singing, he looked right at you and smiled as if he’d been waiting for you to come. He hopped off the rock where he had been sitting, and you got a better look at him.

He wore no clothing, but from the waist down, he was all feathers. His legs were long and spindly, ending in three-toed claws like that of a purple heron. The feathers extended up his back to his large wings, heather-grey in color, which were folded at rest behind him.

His hair was long and falling around his shoulders in ringlets, the same heather-gray as his feathers. He had a four streaks of black, two on each side, running down his neck, one stripe down his arms to his wrists, the other down the inside of his shoulders and disappearing into the feathers near his hips. His skin was dark brown and his eyes were sharp in shape, amber-gold in color, and hawk-like.

Though he was much taller than you because of his long legs, in his face, he looked to be about your age, perhaps slightly older. He was slender and graceful in his movements, taking careful steps toward you as if not to scare you, though you didn’t think you could possibly be afraid of him.

“Aren’t you from the village?” He asked, his speaking voice as musical as his song suggested. “Won’t you be in trouble for coming into the woods? My parents say that humans are scared of the woods.”

“I’m not scared,” You said, puffing up. “Papa says I’m a big girl. I can go to the corner store all by myself now. I only came ‘cause I heard you singing.”

“Oh,” He said, frowning. “I must be too close, then. I should go.”

“Wait!” You reached out, grabbing his hand. “Stay and play with me, won’t you? What’s your name?”

“Geyarajan,” He replied, not attempting to break away from your grasp. “You’re the girl who lives in the house near the river, right? What’s your name?”

You told him. “How do you know me?”

“I’ve seen you sometimes,” He said, leading you to the rock where he was sitting before. There was a bushel of flowers laying there. He began to weave them into a ring. “When I fly above the town. I know you from the ribbons.” He tugged at the blue ribbon you wore in your hair, which matched your pristine dress. Your mother insisted on dressing you like a doll, always making you wear frilly dresses and putting ribbons in your hair.

“You can fly?” You whispered in awe.

“Well, sure,” He laughed, fluffing his wings a little. “These aren’t fake, you know. I have to fly pretty high, so the only thing I can see of you clearly is the ribbons.”

“Why do you fly so high?” You asked him.

“Mother says it’s too dangerous to fly too low over the town,” Geyarajan said. “She says the people don’t like us, that they’d be mean to us if they knew we lived in the forest next to them.”

“Oh. That’s a shame. If it’s dangerous, why don’t you move?”

“Our kind lived in these woods before those humans ever settled here,” He said, pointing toward the village. “Why should we have to leave?”

“That makes sense, I guess,” You admitted. “I don’t see people like you in town. It’s only humans. I don’t know why.”

“Mother and Father say it’s because humans hate us,” He said morosely, looking at his hands as he continued to weave the garland. “Do you hate us?”

“No!” You said. “You’re so pretty! Can I… Can I touch your wings? I’ve never met a person with wings before.”

He regarded you warily, but said, “Okay, but only for a minute. Mother says our wings are a sign of divinity, that they make us holy.”

“Divine? Like an angel?”

“What’s an angel?”

You tried to explain what an angel was to him, but he just looked confused.

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Do you want to touch my wings or not?” He asked impatiently.

“Yes, yes!” You exclaimed. You reached out tentatively and ran your fingertips gently down his proffered wing. He watched you carefully, his hands stilling in their work.

“Wow,” You breathed. “It’s so hard to believe they’re real.”

“Well, they are,” He sniffed, eyeing you. “It’s weird.”

“What is?”

“Well, I’ve never met a human, but my parents said they’re all cruel and heartless. They call your kind monsters, but you seem nice.”

“I am nice,” You replied. “I’m friends with everyone in town. I want to be your friend, too. Can I call you Rajan?”

“Why?”

“It’s a nickname!” You said. “It means we’re friends.”

“Oh,” He replied. “Yeah, I guess so. Can I give you a nickname?”

“Sure!”

“Alright, how about…” He looked around for inspiration and his eyes fell on the flowers in his lap. There were wild daisies, coneflowers, purple poppies, blanket flowers, black-eyed susans, and blush-pink primroses. “What about Primrose?”

“I love it!” You said excitedly. “Primrose and Rajan.”

Rajan giggled.

“What’s funny?”

“Well, my whole name, Geyarajan, means ‘king of songs,’” He replied, finishing the crown of flowers and placing it on his head. “But Rajan just means ‘king.’”

You giggled too. “I like that! You can be the king of the primroses! It’ll be a kingdom just for us!”

“Sounds fun!” He said. “Let’s play Kings and Flowers, then!”

“That’s not a real game!”

“Is too! I just made it up!”

The two of you played until it started to get dark, then Rajan escorted you home. He stopped about thirty feet away from the treeline, where you could hear your mother calling.

“I can’t go closer,” He said, still wearing the flower crown. He took it off and placed it on your head. “You should run home now. I’ll watch you to make sure you stay safe.”

“Alright,” You said brightly, standing on your tip-toe to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you again soon!”

He blushed and touched his cheek, frozen. You laughed joyfully and ran back to the garden behind your house.

“There you are!” Your mother shouted as you came out from around the house. “Where have you been? Look at the state of your dress!” She fussed. “It’s ruined! Do you know how long it took me to sew that?”

“Just make me a normal dress, Mama,” You said. “A plain one I can play in.”

“Nonsense,” Your mother said, taking your hand. “I’ll not have my daughter wallowing in the muck like some street urchin. To the bath with you!”

As she dragged you along into the house, your lovely flower crown slipped from your head and floated away on the breeze.

“Oh, Mama, my crown!”

“Leave it,” She said.

“Oh, but it was--” You stopped short before saying _a present_. You didn’t want your mother asking from whom. You watched as it floated into the road and was trampled by a passerby. Sighing with disappointment, you followed your mother inside.

Geyarajan became your best friend from that day on. You had to be careful, though; you couldn’t go too deep into the forest for fear of dangerous creatures and he couldn’t get too close to the village, or he’d be seen and possibly captured by the townspeople. As such, you could only see each other once a week or so, and on the days you agreed to meet, often you’d sneak out to play for a few hours after bed.

Having a secret friend was thrilling. It made you feel special and important. He’d told you that he hadn’t told his parents about you, either, because he didn’t want them to be mad at him for getting so close to humans. It was as if the pretend kingdom the two of you built together was real, and you were the only two in it.

It didn’t take long at all for you to develop a crush on Geyarajan, and it seemed to be mutual. He always held your hand whenever the two of you walked together and you often gave him quick pecks on the lips to see the surprise and delight on his face. It was the pure, innocent love of childhood, and though your time together was limited, you were both happy.

Of course, secrets are never meant to last.

Time passed. One evening when you were eleven, after you’d snuck out to see him, the two of you were stargazing in a clearing, making up constellations, your fingers intertwined loosely.

“See there,” He said. “That’s the raven. It’s good luck.”

“Who says?” You asked, laughing.

“I say!” Rajan said. “I’m a king, aren’t I?”

“Oh, right,” You replied. “Papa calls that the eagle. And that’s the dog star.”

“Why do they call it the dog star?”

“I don’t know,” You said. “Tell me another one.”

He squinted. “I can’t see it all that well from here. I usually look at the stars from up in the trees. It’s harder to see them all clearly on the ground like this.”

“How high up do you go?”

“The top, obviously,” He said, sitting up and pointing straight up to a nearby oak tree. “The tallest, strongest branch. That’s the best place.”

“I’d be scared to go that high,” You said, shivering a little.

“I could help you,” He said. “I’d fly you up there.”

“Aren’t I too heavy?” You asked him skeptically. “I was the last time you tried to lift me.”

“That was a year ago! I’m much stronger now.” He hopped to his taloned feet and flexed his skinny arms. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

“Are you sure?” You asked as you took his hand.

“Come on, you trust me, right?”

You straightened up and smiled at him. “Yeah, of course I do.”

He grinned back. “I won’t be able to take off from the ground,” He said. “We’ll have to climb up a little ways so I can do a drop. I’m really good at those.”

You frowned at the thought, but since he knew way more about flying than you did, you didn’t argue. Swallowing down your nervousness, you followed him up the tree.

You hadn’t known how to climb a tree when you first met him; your mother had forbade such things. Geyarajan had decided immediately that it was inappropriate for anyone to be unable to climb a tree and taught you how to do it the second time you met. You got pretty scraped up the first few times, which you had a hard time explaining away. Now, you were an expert. You were even able to keep leaves and dirt off of your nightgown.

Of course, Geyarajan was much faster than you, since he’d been climbing trees before he could even walk. We was already on the branch he planned to launch from, waiting patiently for you to catch up. He wasn’t above heckling you, though.

“Are all humans as slow as you?” He teased. “I could be halfway to the coast by the time you get up here.”

You stopped for a moment to blow a raspberry at him. In the few seconds that you were distracted, you misstepped, your foot sliding out of your evening slipper and catching you off balance.

Geyarajan leapt, reaching out to catch you, but he was too late. You fell straight down, landing on your right leg. It snapped in half upon impact. The pain shot up your body and struck your brain, and you screamed like you never had before. Geyarajan landed next to you, panicking, trying to figure out what to do. You were crying too hard to speak.

“Hold on, Primrose, hold on,” He lifted you as carefully as he could and began to run through the woods. The pain and smell of blood made you violently sick. “I’m taking you home, just hold on.”

“No!” You managed to gasp. “You can’t go there!”

“I won’t be able to stay, but I can get you there, I promise,” He said.

“No!” You said, beginning to struggle, squealing as the movement made the pain worse. “They’ll kill you! You can’t go to the village!”

Geyarajan stopped in his tracks, breathing hard and looking toward the village and back into the forest.

“I’ll get into a lot of trouble, but there’s only one other place I can take you,” He said, sweating and shaking with fear. “Hold on to me. We’ll be there soon.”

What happened next was a blur of pain, color, noise, voices, and a terrible sick feeling throughout your body, the only familiar thing through all of it was the sound of Geyarajan’s voice and his hand holding yours. At some point, you blacked out completely.

You woke up to the sound of screaming. You were lying in the back garden of your own home, a large, grey feather in your hand, and your mother rushing over to you, checking you frantically.

“Oh, god, are you okay?!” She asked. “Where have you been? What happened to you?” She saw your leg and shrieked. “Who did this to you?!”

Her shouting had attracted the attention of several men, all of whom looked tired and held burned out torches. One of them dropped their spent torch and lifted you up, carrying you into the house. There was noise and shouting and confusion all around you, made worse by your mother’s constant shrill crying in the background. You let them do as they will in silence, clutching Geyarajan’s feather.

Your leg hurt, but nowhere as badly as it had before. You looked down and saw to your surprise that the leg had been wrapped set, wrapped in cloth to stem the bleeding, and was in a makeshift splint made of straight wooden rods and vines.

The physician was called and examined your leg. During this time, you learned you’d been missing for four days. The men with torches were part of the search party, tirelessly searching the woods for any trace of you. When they found blood on the grass and a fragment of your clothes, along with several large feathers, they thought some massive monster had gobbled you up.

The physician determined that your leg had been expertly set, however, meaning it was no monster that had taken you. Since you couldn’t remember most of your time missing, you kept silent, which made everyone grim-faced. They assumed the worst and decided someone had taken you and kept you in the woods somewhere, and you were so traumatized by the incident that you’d blocked the entire event out. You couldn’t exactly argue with them, but you knew Rajan would never hurt you. Not that you could tell them that.

The search began anew, only this time it wasn’t retrieval. It was revenge. You wished you could tell them that it wasn’t necessary, you wanted to stop them, but you couldn’t do anything without telling them about Rajan and his people, and you had promised never to do so. So you could only watch anxiously as the townsfolk worked themselves into a froth, looking for a predator that didn’t exist.

Bedridden and helpless to stop the villagers from their crusade, you spent many nights crying and wishing you could see Rajan. It was too dangerous now; you thought you wouldn’t see him for a long time. You were surprised when, a week later, Rajan came straight to your window late one night. He opened it and hopped down.

“Rajan!” You breathed, elated, and reached out your arms to embrace him from the bed. He stayed out of your reach. You couldn’t see his face well in this light, but his body radiated distrust.

“How could you?” He said whispered, pain seeping into his voice. “I thought you were my friend. How could you do this to me?”

You dropped your arms. “Wha… How could I what?”

“You know what!” He retorted angrily, his voice rising in anger. “You told them! You told the humans about us! You told them where to find us!”

“I didn’t!” You replied, stricken. “I would never, you know that! I never told them anything!”

“Liar!” He snapped. “Men came! They set fire to our colony! We have no home now because of you!”

You ignored the pain in your leg and swung around to sit up properly. “I didn’t tell them anything! I don’t even know where your colony is! I’ve never been there!”

“You’re lying! You were there! My parents cared for you, they fixed your leg! This is how you repay their kindness?”

“What?” You replied, confused. “I… no, I… I don’t… I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything. The last memory I have before waking up in the garden was you carrying me. We argued because I didn’t want you to come to the village. I was worried you’d get hurt--”

“Stop,” He said, raising a hand. “Enough of this. My parents were right. You can never trust a human.”

“Don’t say that! How could you have so little faith in me? We’ve been friends since we were little! I’d never do anything to put you or your family in danger, you know that! Why would I do that?”

The light from the moon caught his face, and the pain in his eyes stopped your heart.

“You tell me.”

He climbed up onto the windowsill, walked out on the roof, unfurled his wings, and took off. You fell to the ground with a loud thump. Your father came in to find you sobbing in anguish. He lifted you and put you back to bed, petting your hair and telling you it would be alright. But it wouldn’t.

You decided that once you were healed, you’d go and find Rajan and keep protesting your innocence until he believed you. You didn’t count on your parents’ plans.

Another week passed, and your mother came into your room.

“How are you feeling, love?” She asked.

You shrugged your shoulders. You’d been sullen and depressed since Rajan’s visit. Everyone assumed it was because of your disappearance and you made no attempt to correct them. The guilt of his family’s home being destroyed weighed heavily on your mind. If only you hadn’t tried to climb that tree. 

“I’m sorry, darling,” She said. “I can’t believe monsters were living right next door to us in the woods. It’s become too dangerous in this place. Look at what they did to you!”

“They helped me!” You shouted. “They’re not monsters!”

Your mother rounded on you, her face pinching in suspicion. “How would you know that? What do you know about them?”

You scowled at her and remained silent.

“I knew you were lying when you said you couldn’t remember anything.” She stood up and looked down her nose at you. “That does it. We’re moving to Dunmountain.”

“What?!” You cried. “No! I don’t want to move!”

“The decision has already been made,” She told you, pulling out your luggage and starting to pack. “Your father and I can’t abide those disgusting creatures living so close.”

“But there are people like them in the city!” You argued.

“There are rules for them there,” Your mother said. “Most of them are ring fighters or laborers. They don’t practically nest in the backyards of decent people.”

“Who said you were decent?” You screamed. “You can’t make me go!”

“Who’s going to stop me?” She shouted back. “Your father has agreed. We’re going!” She threw your bag on the floor next to your bed. “Pack your things yourself!” With that, she turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her and leaving you to weep bitterly into your blanket.

You had no choice. Within the month, you were all packed and in a wagon headed to the city. You had become withdrawn and quiet, unlike the girl you had been before. Your father worried over you, but your mother told you to suck it up and get over it. New city, new life, new start.

She was more right than she knew. In the city, you were a new person. The cheerful child that was friends with everyone she met was gone. You were shy, introverted, and taciturn, only speaking when spoken to. You found it difficult to make friends and were quick to tears.

Your mother, in an effort to desensitize you to “monsters,” took you to the gladiator’s ring and made you watch them fight each other. You hated it; the sight of them viciously attacking each other for no other purpose than to entertain humans made you physically ill.

As you got older, the people of your neighborhood began to call you the monster girl because of your tendency to go to the ring and talk to the fighters. Just talk. Some of them were willing participants, but there were others who were forced to fight. People with debt, criminals, the homeless, the mentally ill; anyone society deemed abnormal. Their jailers seemed to forget that they were still people.

You’d often sit outside of their cells and talk to them, comfort them, even write down messages to give to their loved ones. Your mother despaired of you, and the humans thought you were weird, but the creatures of the fighting ring called you an angel.

One day, when you were nineteen, there was a new arrival at the jail, a young woman with wings and bird feet. When you were told, you immediately went to see her first.

“Hello?” You called softly, tapping gently on one of the bars.

“Who are you?” She asked.

You told her your name. “I come here to talk to the fighters and help them when I can. What’s your name?”

“Aashiyana,” She replied. “You can help me?”

“I can try,” You replied. “Why are you here?”

“I caught a deer in a field near my home,” She said. “It was apparently owned by a nobleman or something. What kind of person_ owns_ a deer?”

“People with too much money,” You replied, laughing. “How long is your sentence?”

“Until my fine is up. Six months, I think they said.”

“How much is the fine?”

“300 gold.”

“That’s highway robbery!” You exclaimed. “Let me see what I can work out.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that,” She said. “This city is stifling. I hate it here.”

“So do I,” You replied, standing. You were about to turn and leave, but you were compelled to ask. “By any chance, do you know a boy named Geyarajan?”

Aashiyana sat up straighter and peered at you. “I did know a boy by that name, yes.”

Your heart hammered in your throat. “Did?”

“He doesn’t go by that name anymore. His name is Gaveshan now.”

“Why did he change his name?” You asked.

“How do you know him?”

“He saved my life years ago. He… was my friend.”

Her eyes widened and jaw dropped. “Are you Primrose?”

Your expression matched hers. “Yes! How did you know about that?”

“We met!” She said, her eyes lighting up. “Your leg was broken and my mother set it. She was the colony’s healer. You stayed in the colony with us until she felt it was safe to move you.”

“I don’t remember,” You told her. “I don’t remember anything. I was with Rajan when I broke my leg, and then I passed out. When I woke up again, I was back home and I’d been missing for four days. I don’t know what happened during that time.”

Aashiyana frowned. “You don’t remember me at all?”

You shook your head sadly. “I’m sorry. What happened to the colony?” You asked her, putting a hand on hers around the bars. “Rajan told me that it was burned, but he didn’t give me any details.”

“Men came out of the forest with torches. They set fire to everything. We had to flee with nothing. Some didn’t make it.”

“Oh, god,” You said, covering your mouth in horror. “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t fallen out of the tree…”

“Did you tell the men how to find us?”

“No! I swear I didn’t! I don’t even remember being there!” You said. “I swear, Aashiyana, I swear on my life.”

He deep brown eyes searched yours for a moment, a discerning look on her face, and she said, “I believe you.”

Your face crumpled as the tears began to flow. “Thank you.” You wiped your face on a handkerchief and straightened yourself. “Let me see what I can do for you. I’ll get you out of here.”

“Thank you,” She said.

It took some time, but you managed to make a deal with the judge. It was a lucky thing that your parents were in good standing with the stadium, as your father was a financier, so you were able to pull a few favors. You returned to Aashiyana’s cell three days later and directed the jailor to open the door.

“What’s happened?”

“I’ve made a deal,” You said. “You’re free of the fighting ring, but in exchange, you must work. I’ve made arrangements for you. I’ll tell you about it once we’re in the carriage.”

“Carriage?”

You took her by the arm. “Come on.”

Outside the jail, a carriage was indeed waiting for you. You opened the door and assisted her in getting inside, as the steps weren’t built for her large claws, and got inside after her. The carriage began to move.

“So what deal did you make?” She asked.

“You are to be my personal servant for the remainder of your sentence.”

She balked. “What makes you think I want to be a slave any more than a punching bag?”

“I have no intention of giving you any order,” You told her. “But if you wouldn’t mind, I’ll like you to take me to see Geyarajan. Or Gaveshan, I guess.”

“Do I have to stay with you?” She asked, eyeing you.

“Of course not,” You replied. “You’re free to go as soon as we get out of the city limits, as far as I’m concerned. I have no intention of ordering you around.”

“Can’t you get into trouble for this?”

“Of course. The penalty for assisting a criminal escape is taking their sentence plus five years.”

“If you know that’s going to happen when you come back, why would you do it?” She asked you, horrified.

“Simple. I’m not coming back.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader decides to submit herself to the gandharvas for punishment for her perceived crimes against them, all the while hoping to see Geyarajan again. Please leave feedback!

You rode in the carriage with Aashiyana for several hours at a quick trot until you were well out of Dunmountain. You wanted to get as much distance between yourself and the city before the judge, and worse, your parents, realized you’d run off.

During the ride, Aashiyana told you everything that had happened during the four days you couldn’t remember, the four days you’d spent with her people. According to her, the children of the colony found you fascinating. Many of them had never seen a human before, so you were just as much a novelty to them as Geyarajan had been to you when you’d first met him. They took turns being your constant companions as you rested in the colony’s infirmary. Geyarajan was a little jealous that they monopolized your time, but happy that they were being nice to you.

However, the adults were distrustful of you. Geyarajan’s parents were livid at him for bringing you there. He came clean about having been visiting you for years, and that you’d never once said anything to anyone about the colony. His assurances did nothing to assuage their concerns, and had ordered him never to see you again once you were gone. Geyarajan agreed like a dutiful child, but made it clear to you and his friends in secret that he had no intention of obeying this command.

Aashiyana said that once you were well enough, you were brought before the elders of the colony and interrogated. You were terrified and Geyarajan was angry that he was not permitted to accompany you. Ultimately it was decided that you would be returned to your village, as they had no other course of action that wouldn’t provoke the humans into revenge. Killing you or keeping you would absolutely draw the wrath of the village, so giving you back would be a fifty/fifty shot of the colony’s survival.

As it stood, when the humans came to destroy the colony, they were ruthless and took no prisoners. The colony had been mostly evacuated by then as a precaution; they had moved the children, the elderly, and the infirm to a safer roost elsewhere, and the ones that remained stayed to defend the colony. However, the colony was made of wood, vines, and straw, so once a torch was put to it, it lit up like a tinderbox. Many were able to escape, but there were a few that had their flight feathers burned off and were killed in the fire. You cried with Aashiyana as she relayed this to you.

“Geyarajan came to talk to me after,” You told her. “He didn’t believe I never told anyone. He blamed me for the attack.”

“He did?” Aashiyana said. “That’s news to me. Although, after you left and the attack happened, he stopped talking about you altogether, and he forbade us from talking about you as well. He changed his name not long after. He said his name no longer suited him as he didn’t intend to sing anymore. It’s a shame really; he had a lovely voice.”

You frowned in dismay. “I knew he hated me, but I guess I didn’t realize just how much.”

Aashiyana tutted. “I don’t think he hated you. Although I suppose his feelings may have changed. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen him in a few years.”

“Why not?”

“The colony dispersed into smaller groups that live throughout the forest now. The elders felt it was safer for us than living in a big space like we did before. Besides, finding a new, ideal place to rebuild the colony and then defend it while it was actually being rebuilt, would take years. Separating was better use of resources.”

“Where does Geyarajan… or rather Gaveshan, live now? Is he still in Shelter Forest?”

“No,” She replied. “He and his family live in the settlement on the largest of the islands just off the coast near Coleville with a handful of other families. Few races ever go out there because of the legend surrounding that place, so they thought it’d be safe there.”

You knew of it. There were three large islands off the shoreline; the Beast, the Ghost, and the Demon, surrounded by many tiny satellite islands known as the Watchers of the Wharf. Beast Island, the biggest of the three, was said to house all manner of horrible monstrosity, but knowing what you knew now, you were pretty sure it was a scare tactic to keep people away.

“Where do you live?”

“Another settlement in the woods between Coleville and Tandale, close to the lake,” Aashiyana said. “Coleville is a town that’s much kinder to non-humans. We don’t interact much with the town, but we also don’t feel as threatened there.”

“That’s on the way, then,” You said. “I can drop you off before I head to the island.”

“What?” She screeched. “You can’t go to the island! The only way to get on it is by air! It’s surrounded by sheer cliffs on all sides, and you’ve got a bad leg! There’s no way!”

“I’ll find a way,” You said, reaching down to rub your leg. You’d limped a little ever since it was broken, but not so much that it hindered your day-to-day life. Though, to be fair, you weren’t exactly climbing trees these days. “Unless you’d like to fly me there.”

She winced. “I’m really grateful for you busting me out of that prison, but if I were spotted flying a human to the island, they’d shoot me out of the sky.”

“It was worth asking,” You replied morosely. “I can take you to your settlement and make sure you get there safely before I go… wherever I go.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” She asked. “As far as my people are concerned, you’re the reason our colony split up.”

“I have to explain myself, then,” You said. “Or at least apologize, for whatever that may be worth.”

It took a week to get to Coleville from Dunmountain, even by carriage. There were off-road inns and shops where you could sleep and resupply. Aashiyana was adamant about sleeping in the trees well away from the eyes of others, still distrustful of people without wings.

Once in Coleville, you paid the carriage-man the rest of his fee and took what little you’d brought with you into the local inn. After checking in, getting your key, and dumping your bags in your room, you went out to where Aashiyana was hiding in the woods. She fluttered down to sit with you on a few rocks.

“It’s not far from here, then?” You asked her.

“No,” She said. “About an hour and a half to fly. Longer walking.”

“Well, I’m not going to stop you from going home, but it is late and I am tired,” You told her. “If you can give me directions, I can find my way there in the morning.”

She shook her head. “I owe you a debt. The least I can do is wait for you.”

You nodded your thanks. “I’m going to buy food. Can I get anything for you?”

She shook her head again. “No, thanks. I haven’t hunted in two weeks and my talons are itching.”

“Have at it, then,” You said with a smile before turning and wending back toward town for a bite and a rest.

The next morning, you met Aashiyana at the place where you’d seen her the night before, and she began to lead you toward her settlement. You’d left your belongings back at the inn, uncertain if you’d be alive at the end of the day to claim them.

“Are you still sure about this?” Aashiyana asked.

“Yes,” You said resolutely. “It’s all I’ve thought about for years. However I’ve wronged your people, it’s my responsibility to atone for it.”

“But you haven’t wronged us,” Aashiyana said. “You said it yourself, you never told anyone about us. You don’t even remember being at the colony.”

“Regardless, my being there put your people at risk and cost the lives of several of you. A price must be paid.”

She frowned. “I don’t think that’s your burden to shoulder.”

“Who else, if not me?”

“Those who set the colony on fire, for one.”

“But I wasn’t there and I don’t know which of the invaders are the perpetrators. Besides, if I hadn’t been careless, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place. This is the best way.”

She sighed in dismay. “If your sure. But I still don’t like it.”

When you arrived, there was an uproar, first a happy one when Aashiyana appeared, and then an angry one when they saw you emerge with her. There was some concern that you had caught her and had forced her to lead you back to the settlement, but Aashiyana was quick to ease their fears.

Once they realized that you weren’t a threat, they were at a loss as to what to do with you. They didn’t exactly have a jail in which to keep you. Their solution was to keep you tied up in a spare storage hut under constant surveillance while they contacted the other colonies for advice. You didn’t argue with their decree.

You were allowed to have visitors, and Aashiyana came to see you often. She brought along others who had met you during the period of time you’d spent in the colony, and they were all happy that you’d recovered well. A couple still weren’t entirely sure if you were telling the truth about your amnesia, however. They tried playing the same games they’d played when you were young in order to jog your memory, but none of it worked. It left you frustrated and the others forlorn.

After a few days, a message came back to the elder of the settlement. She came in to greet and talk with you, the first time she had done so since you had arrived.

“Do you know who I am?” She asked as she entered the dimly lit shed where you were confined. The door closed behind her. She was an elderly woman, her brown wings tattered and her back hunched. She wore no clothes, like most of her kind, and her skin was weathered. Her eyes, the color matching her feathers, were as sharp and shrewd as any judge you’d met.

“No, madam,” You replied. “I’m afraid I don’t. Have we met before? If so, I apologize for my lapse in recall.”

“Hmm,” She hummed, settling on a sack of grain opposite you, her old bones creaking. “You’re either an imbecile, a consummate liar, or… Aashiyana’s tale is true and you do not remember.”

“I don’t,” You said. “I can’t remember what happened after I passed out from the pain. I swear it’s the truth.”

“I’m to understand that you and the young Geyarajan met several times. Is that true?”

“Yes,” You replied. “We met when I was six or so. We were friends for several years.”

“Did he ever tell you where the colony was?”

“No, madam. Not once. We always met in a clearing near my village. He never took me back to the colony, though he did speak of it.”

“Could a man of your village have followed him back?”

“I don’t see how,” You said. “He always flew back after we saw each other. He never returned on foot.”

“Except…” She prodded.

“Except…” You gasped at the realization. “Oh, gods, he must have carried me back to the colony on foot. It’s how they found it!” You threw yourself down at her feet. “I knew it! I knew it was my fault! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

You began to sob. She didn’t attempt to comfort you, but neither did she shake you off. She merely waited as you cried yourself out. Once you were done, she stood up.

“My name is Elder Jaya. We sent word to the other settlements about you. We’ve received word that you are to be brought to a tribunal on the largest, safest settlement on The Beast.”

Your heart thumped. Aashiyana said that’s where Geyarajan was. You barely had an extra thought to lend to the fact that you were going to be put on trial. Well, the outcome would be the same either way. Whether you were found guilty and killed, or if they deemed you innocent, it would change nothing. You had no place to return to.

“I was to assess your credibility before such a thing occurred,” Elder Jaya continued. “If I found you lacking, you were to be killed.”

You gulped and looked up at her from the ground. “How did I fare?”

She considered you with her lips pursed before answering. “Well enough. Aashiyana’s testimony added to the integrity of your claims. Now prepare yourself. We shall be leaving at dawn for Beast Island. It will take most of the day to reach the water.”

“Thank you, Elder,” You said. “For your graciousness.”

“Don’t thank me yet, child,” She said as she made to leave. “I may only have delayed the inevitable.”

The next morning, you were led in chains through the forest to the cliffs. Since you were unable to fly, you would have to be carried across. Thankfully, though you weren’t exactly a dainty thing, your guard was more than strong enough to lift you. Even from the cliffs, you could see a row of figures standing on the island across the water, waiting for your party to arrive.

Aashiyana was with you to give her testimony, as she had done in her home settlement. A few other character witnesses came too, mostly the ones who had befriended you as a child.

Once in the air, you clutched your guard and closed your eyes. Ever since falling from the tree, you’d had a pretty awful fear of falling. The guard was caught off balance by the sudden dead weight of you huddled in your shackles, full fetal position, but was able to reposition you to prevent dropping you from three hundred feet over the water.

You opened your eyes when you felt a thump, signifying that you had landed. You were greeted to the sight of several bows leveling arrows at you. With your heart thudding in your chest, you were set on your feet. The bowmen were all different colors and plumages, and you didn’t recognize any of them.

From behind them, an older man stepped forward with dark grey hair and fur pale grey skin, and blue eyes, though unlike many of the men, his hair was cut short around his ears.

“Do you know who I am?” He asked.

“I…” You throat was suddenly dry. “I assume you’re the elder of the settlement, yes?” As well as you were able being tied up, you bowed carefully. “My best wishes to you. I’m sorry to cause you inconvenience by coming here out of the blue. I’ve come to accept responsibility for the attack on the colony many years ago. Had I been less careless, it might never have happened. You have my sincerest apologies.”

“You think your apology would undo the damage you have caused?”

“No, of course not,” You said, head down piously. “I can only hope to offer my life in an effort to make amends.”

“Hmph,” He grumped, looking you up and down. “We will see what’s to be seen. Put her in the hold for now.”

“She hasn’t eaten since the morning,” Elder Jaya said. “Since she has had the decency to willingly submit to our judgment, the least we can do is feed her.”

“It will be taken care of,” The elder said. “Take her.”

The guard from Kaya’s settlement, in addition to one from Beast Island, escorted you to another makeshift jail made from a reinforced storage shed. Taking prisoners was apparently not a common thing for these people.

This jail had very little light and no windows. The only illumination was from a gap in the bottom of the door. While here, you would not be allowed visitors like you had in Kaya’s settlement. You had no idea how long it would take, what they expected of you, or how to occupy your time. You could count grains, but you couldn’t even see them to do it.

The door opened, and a tray with food was placed on the ground, along with a cup of water. The light blinded you to the point where you couldn’t see the food-bringer, though they did stare at you for a few seconds. Before you could thank them, the door closed again.

God, you wanted a bath. All of your things, your money, your clothes, was left in the inn, probably claimed by the owners now since you hadn’t returned to pick it up. Oh well. If you died, you wouldn’t need it all anyway. You fell into an uneasy sleep on the straw floor of the shed, unhappy dreams waking you from time to time, and you were groggy and sore come morning.

You had pushed the tray and cup back out under the gap in the door the night before, which you assumed had been carved into the door for that purpose since the wood was freshly cut. Despite that, the door opened and your morning meal was delivered in person, but you still couldn’t make out the details of the person handing it off. They left again before you could speak.

“Thank you!” You called through the door. There was no response.

At noon, you were called to the tribunal, which was made up of all the elders of every settlement that had been in the original colony, seven in total. In attendance around the room were many members of the colony plus your character witnesses. Some seemed to recognize you, though you didn’t recall them.

The elder of the Beast Island settlement was the head of the tribunal. “Do you recognize any members of this council?” He asked.

You looked at them all carefully, paying special attention to the ones who seemed to know you, but it sparked no memories.

“No, sir,” You replied.

There was a murmuring among the folk gathered there, and a member of the tribunal, a woman with raven black feathers and dark brown skin, stood from her seat and came closer, inspecting your face.

“You don’t remember me?” She asked.

“No, madam, I apologize, but I don’t,” You replied.

“Hmm,” She hummed. “Lift up your skirt. Let me see your leg.”

“What?” You asked, startled.

“I cared for you when you were brought to the colony. I set and splinted your leg. Let me see it.”

“Oh,” You breathed. You figured it was absurd to be self-conscious in the midst of a people who didn’t even wear clothing, but you still slowly and shyly drew up your skirt and pulled down your legging so that she could inspect your once-broken leg.

“Ah,” She said in a low tone, carefully moving your leg around, bending and stretching it. “It healed well. There’s hardly any scar, though you must walk with a slight limp, yes?”

“Yes, madam,” You said. “Thank you for your help.”

“Of course,” She said. She sat back on her haunches and studied your face. “I can’t believe you don’t remember. For such a small child, you certainly could scream like a angry bear.”

You blanched. “I think I’m rather glad I can’t remember that, in truth.”

She laughed a little. “Yes, I suppose you would be. Perhaps the trauma from the pain destroyed your memory of your time with us. It’s not unheard of.”

“Is that your medical opinion, Mari?” The Beast Elder asked.

“Perhaps,” The Raven Elder replied contemplatively. “I’d need to do a further examination before I come to any conclusions.”

“As thorough as ever, I see,” Beast Elder said as Mari returned to her chair.

“There’s a clear way to be sure if her memory is indeed gone, obviously,” One of the others said, a man with speckled brown feathers. “Do a recall spell. That way, if she still protests that she knows nothing, we’ll know she’s lying. We can do nothing until she is willing and capable to tell her story.”

“Very true,” Elder Mari said. “The right to a fair trial does not end with the gandharva, but to all species. She can only defend herself when she knows her whole truth. As it stands now, she can’t speak in her own defense. A recall spell would be the simplest solution.” 

“A recall spell?” The Beast Elder said. “No, too involved. It requires a full day and night to cast. And I’m uncertain I have the necessary components to complete it.”

“What precisely is required?” Elder Mari asked. “I’m sure I’d have it in my apothecary. I could go and retrieve the necessary items in less that two days.”

“A vote, then,” Said the speckled elder. “All in favor of performing a recall spell and reconvening once it has been completed?”

The Beast Elder was out-voted five-to-two. He cleared his throat and looked sidelong at a woman in the crowd, who shifted uneasily in her seat.

“Very well,” The Beast Elder said. “I shall compile a list and have it brought to you. Until then, the tribunal is at recess.”

A buzzing of voices erupted around you as you were pulled from your seat and led out of the hall. You could hear Aashiyana’s voice saying to the others, “But we didn’t even get to testify,” before being hushed by Elder Jaya.

You were brought back to your jail and lunch was given to you. You ate numbly, turning the events of the tribunal over in your mind. What exactly would a recall spell entail? Would it hurt? Would you remember things you’d rather have forgotten? More to the point, you’d still had yet to see Gaveshan. He wasn’t at the tribunal. Was he even here? Could Aashiyana have been wrong?

You had nothing to do while in the jail except think. You wondered if this was how the prisoners at the arena felt confined. If so, you felt even more sympathy for them. If you survived this, and somehow got back, you’d liberate all of them if you got the chance.

Sometime mid-afternoon, the door opened and two people walked in. You recognized them as the Beast Elder and the woman he had looked to in the crowd during the tribunal.

“Hello,” You said, attempting to be cordial despite the circumstance. “Am I being summoned?”

“No,” The Beast Elder said. “You truly don’t remember us?”

You were starting to get tired of people asking you that question, but you remained patient. “No, sir. I don’t.”

“My name is Pashanda,” He said. “This is my wife Hemakshi. You’ve met us before.”

“I seem to have met many people I don’t know,” You replied.

“It seems so,” He said, looking at you shrewdly.

His wife was also scrutinizing you closely. She had strange, sharp gold eyes that matched her hair and feathers. Her skin was also a golden color. She was the opposite to her husband’s pale greys and blues. He was cold where she was hot. She had a familiar face, though; you wondered if your memory was beginning to return. She was silent, though it seemed she was aching to get her hands on you. She stepped from foot to foot with restless energy. She kind of frightened you a little.

“The list of components has been given to Elder Mari for retrieval,” Elder Pashanda told you. “When she returns, you will undergo a recall spell. It will take time, and though it will not hurt necessarily, you may feel some discomfort during the procedure.”

“I suspected as much,” You said. “I will submit to any test you give me.”

“We’ll see,” Elder Pashanda said. “We will return later with your dinner. We will bring with us something that may help jog your memory, so that the spell may not be needed.”

“Whatever you think may help,” You replied. “I am at your mercy.”

“Indeed.” Both Elder Pashanda and his wife left.

Around dinnertime, they returned as promised, though they didn’t have the tray with your meal. They stood silently and stared at you with the door ajar, whispering to each other.

“Is there something I need to do?” You asked.

They didn’t answer. Instead, they both stepped aside and Hemakshi opened the door wider. In came the person who had been leaving your meals, only now, in the dim light of sundown, you were able to see them without the sun blinding you to their features. They had warm brown skin but their feathers were a soft heather gray. Their hair, the same color as their wings, fell down their shoulders in ringlets. Their eyes were sharp and golden in color. They were far taller than you remembered, and more muscular, but still as lithe and graceful as they had been when last you’d seen them.

Your hands were still tied, coupled with the fact that your eyes were glued to the newcomer’s face, it took an awkward minute to get to your feet.

“_Rajan,_” You breathed, reaching out for him. “Rajan, it’s you! I found you!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally finding Geyarajan, he pushes the reader away, still believing she betrayed him. It takes the failure of a spell for Geyarajan to realize his true feelings. Please leave feedback!

You rushed forward to embrace him as best you could with your arms bound, but he jumped back as if you were diseased, his wings flaring.

“Don’t touch me!” He spat. His voice had deepened tremendously, giving him an authoritarian quality. You knew he’d be angry, but you didn’t think those would be the first words you’d heard from him in over a decade. You swallowed back your tears and the lump in your throat.

“I’m sorry,” You said in a small voice, backing up and shrinking in on yourself. “I’m sorry.”

“Why have you come here?” He asked in an accusatory tone.

“To pay for my mistakes,” You said, looking down at your feet. “If I hadn’t been so careless, your people wouldn’t have suffered so much.”

“It’s rather late to come to us with your apologies,” He snarled.

“I’d have come sooner, had I been able,” You replied, continuing to look down and not meet his eye.

There was a moment of silence. “Why aren’t you looking at me?” He asked. It was the first time he sounded curious rather than incensed.

“Because I don’t deserve to,” You said. It was getting harder to hold the tears back.

Another silence. “This isn’t like you. You weren’t this… demure or… soft-spoken when last I knew you.”

“I was a child when last you knew me,” You replied. “I’m a different person now, a person that you don’t know anymore.”

“Hmm,” He mused. “Fair enough. I didn’t know you then, either.”

A tear slipped from your eye and fell to the ground. “I never lied to you, Rajan. Not once.”

“Don’t call me that,” He said sharply. “That’s not my name. It was never my name. We’re not children anymore.” With that, he walked out, throwing your tray to the ground. His parents followed him, locking the door behind him, and you fell to the straw and wept.

The entire point in coming here was to atone, even if that meant dying for it. Besides, there was nothing to go back to. Your parents didn’t understand you. You had no friends besides the ones in the city who were imprisoned, like yourself now. Raja--Gaveshan hated you. You had a few people among the gandharva who you might call allies, perhaps even friends, but whether the recall spell failed or succeeded, there was no telling if they could help you in any way.

You fell into despair and stopped caring for yourself, insomuch that you could in a cell with your hands tied. You no longer ate the food that was brought. You didn’t even look to see who brought it. The bindings were cutting into your wrists and you could feel the rub burns starting to blister, but you didn’t fuss about it or tell your guards. You had resigned yourself to death, so there was no sense in it, really. There was no point in anything anymore.

The next day, around lunchtime, the door opened and stayed open. You were lying on the bare ground, facing the wall, and couldn’t see who it was. You didn’t care who it was.

“They tell me you’re not eating,” Gaveshan said. “Why?”

You didn’t answer or acknowledge him in any way.

“Hey,” He said, prodding you with what felt like one of his clawed feet. “Are you dead?”

“Stop it,” You said flatly, not moving.

“Are you sick? What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” You told him. “I submitted myself to your people fully expecting to die. I’m just preparing for the inevitable.”

“Die?” He echoed. “Why would you die?”

“Several of your people were murdered by humans because of me,” You said. “Why wouldn’t you kill me?”

“You admit that you told the humans about us?” He said, his voice hardening.

“_No,_” You said, finally cajoled into sitting up and looking at him more out of annoyance than any other reason. “I told you, I’ve never said a word about your people. I don’t remember anything.”

“Liar,” He said, his face tight with distrust.

You sighed. “Think what you want to, Gaveshan, but go think it somewhere else. I’m tired.” You laid back down.

He was silent for a moment. “You really came here thinking you were going to die? Why would you do that?”

“People died because I couldn’t climb a tree properly,” You said. “There must be penance for that.”

“Wait,” He said, his voice changing abruptly. “You think you’re responsible for all of this because you fell out of the _tree_?”

“If I hadn’t fallen, I wouldn’t have broken my leg, you wouldn’t have had to carry me to your home, and people from my village wouldn’t have followed us there. I was careless and your people paid the price.”

He sat down on the ground next to you, staring at you as if trying to figure out a puzzle.

“So if you didn’t tell the humans, why did you run?” He asked.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, looking up at his face from where you lay.

“I came back to confront you again about a month later and you were gone,” He said. “You ran.”

“You think I had any control over that?” You retorted. “I was a kid and subject to my parents wishes. And, might I remind you, my leg was broken. I literally had no way to stop them. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to find you and try to get you to listen to me, but they wouldn’t listen to me, either. No one was listening, so I just stopped talking. I think that’s part of why I went to the arena to talk to the fighters. They were the only ones happy to talk to me.”

“You found Aashiyana there?” He asked.

“Yes,” You replied. “I pulled every string I could to get her out of there. People with wings should never be in cages.”

“I got a chance to talk to her this morning, finally. The council has been interrogating her for a day and a half. She told them of your rescuing her. She believes your story.”

“It’s not a story, it’s the truth, and I’ll keep saying that until you believe me, too,” You said.

“Why is my belief so important to you?” He asked, looking away.

You took a big, deep breath and sighed sadly, rolling back over to face the wall, fighting tears. “You know why, Gaveshan.”

He was quiet for a few minutes, and you could hear him shifting and shuffling. You wished he would just leave.

“There’s blood on the floor,” He said with a voice that was hard to parse. “Are you injured?”

“Oh,” You said, looking at where your hands were tied. “The bindings have cut into my skin.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He said, standing up and coming around to inspect the wound.

“Because I didn’t think you’d give a shit,” You replied.

He sighed sharply in irritation. “Here.” He gently took your hands and began to untie the bindings. “Don’t be so stubborn.”

“You’re one to talk,” You said.

He snorted. “Hold on, I’ll get some salve for the blisters.”

“Why? Why do you care? Just leave it.”

“Don’t be stubborn,” He said again as he ducked out of the hut.

You were feeling… very confused. Why was he treating your wounds? Why did he care that you weren’t eating? Why was he even talking to you?

He returned shortly with a pot of salve and bandages and began gingerly applying it to the wound. You watched him do it, watching him carefully wrap your wrists with the bandages, and it reminded you of when the two of you were kids, how kind and sweet he was. Your heart felt like it was drowning for what you had with him, and what you lost.

“You’re crying,” He said. “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” You said, your voice breaking. You didn’t attempt to stem the flow.

“Are you scared because you still think you’re going to die?”

“No.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I don’t know.”

His hands stilled, holding your wrists. “What happened to you? You’re so… sad now.”

“I’ve had people’s deaths on my conscience for the last ten years,” You replied. “That might make most people a little bit sad.” You shrugged, not looking at him. “My best friend hates me. People think I’m weird and poke fun at me. My parents think I’m crazy.” You shook your head and sighed. “Maybe I am.”

“Aashiyana told me you helped her escape,” He said. “That you risk imprisonment if you return home.”

“I left with no plan to return,” You said. “I accept whatever fate the council decides, even if the decision is death.”

“Are you so eager to die?” He asked softly.

You didn’t answer right away. “What do I have to live for?”

“You… you shouldn’t… just… give up,” He said haltingly. He grabbed your arms, gripping them so tight that it bordered on painful. “This isn’t like you! You never gave up when we were kids! You would race me even knowing you’d lose! You rose to any challenge I gave you!”

You pulled your hands out of his. “It’s like you said, Gaveshan. We aren’t children anymore.”

“So you won’t even fight for yourself?” He asked, his voice rising. Did he sound anxious?

“Fight for what?” You asked in return. “I came here to submit to judgment, not to argue. I’m guilty. I deserve punishment. It doesn’t matter that I never said a word about the colony, it was still destroyed because of me. Your people deserve justice and I’ve delivered myself for that reason. Now please just leave me alone.”

He was quiet for a long, long moment, his breathing drawn out and even.

“I could swear,” He said quietly, as if to himself. “I could almost_ swear _you really believe what you’re saying.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed heavily. You lied back down and turned your back to him. “Go away.”

“I brought you a carrot stew,” He said, getting up and heading to the door. “I know you like carrots. You should eat it.”

“I don’t like carrots anymore. And I’m not hungry,” You said.

“Don’t be stubborn, Primrose,” He said as he walked out.

The sudden use of his old nickname for you felt like a stab to the heart, like he was using it as a weapon to hurt you, stinging your eyes to tears again. Did he really hate you enough to hurt you that deeply with such casual indifference?

You didn’t eat the stew.

The next morning, the council reconvened to watch the recall spell to be performed. Elder Pashanda wasn’t happy about having to perform the spell in the first place, but he had been overruled.

You were directed to sit in a chair in the middle of the council room with only the council members in attendance, observing the spell. Other observers had been barred for this phase of the interrogation. Elder Mari examined you prior to the spell, noting that you’d lost a little bit of weight and asking if you felt well enough to conduct the spell. You replied that you were fine and that you just wanted to get it over with. She eyed you shrewdly, but allowed the spell to commence.

Before it could, however, the door to the council room opened and Gaveshan strode in.

“Gaveshan!” Elder Pashanda exclaimed, his face surprised and angry. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“The spell isn’t necessary,” He said. “She’s not at fault. I am.”

There was a murmuring from the council as your jaw dropped, turning in your chair to as best you could to gawk at him.

“What the hell are you saying?” Elder Pashanda said. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I goaded her into climbing the tree,” He said, coming to stand next to the chair to which you’d been tied. “She fell because of me. I carried her back to the colony on foot. They followed me, not her. Hell, I decided to stay and befriend her that day in the woods when I knew it was our law that I should have run away. It’s my responsibility. You shouldn’t punish her. Punish me instead.”

“Nonsense!” Elder Pashanda said. “Gaveshan, leave here at once! You’re disrupting the council.”

“You understand that if you’re found guilty, the sentence is banishment,” Elder Mari said.

“I do,” Gaveshan said, bowing his head. “I am prepared to accept that, if it is the ruling of the council.”

“What are you doing?” You whispered up to him.

He looked down at you and smiled, a real, true, beautiful smile. The first you’d seen on his face since you were children. You felt the tears again, but this time, they were happy tears. You smiled back up at him.

“No!” Pashanda said. “It is her fault! She is to be punished!”

“We haven’t come to that decision yet, Beast Elder,” The speckle-feathered man said. “In fact, I think it’s best if you sit this one out, as it now directly involves your son.”

“That’s absurd!” He said, his face contorting.

“Father, please,” Gaveshan said, putting an arm on his shoulder. “Be reasonable.”

“Reasonable?!” He spat, rounding on Gaveshan. “Do you know what you’re saying? You’re talking about potentially never seeing your family or people ever again! Doesn’t that bother you?”

“Of course it does!” Gaveshan shouted back. “But I have just as much culpability as she does! It could be argued that I’m more responsible, since I was the one who brought her back to the colony in the first place!”

“You were a child!”

“So was she! She was even younger than I was,_ and _she was injured because of me!” You shot back. “Why are you holding her to a different standard? Because I’m your son? Or because she’s human?”

His pale father got very red in the face. He filled his lungs to bellow something, but before he got the chance, speckled-feather Elder stopped him.

“Pashanda,” He said authoritatively. “This is now a clear conflict of interest. You are removed from the council for this trial.”

“I refuse!” He said. “We haven’t even voted on it!”

“It’s not up for debate,” Elder Jaya replied. “It’s the law.”

“You can’t put my son on trial just because he’s been bewitched by this woman! I should never have agreed to let him speak to her privately!”

“It was the council’s decision to let him do so in an attempt to jog her memory, since you have been so opposed to doing the recall spell,” Elder Mari said, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. “Though, I must admit your reluctance has given me many questions.”

“Please,” You said, speaking up. “Just do the spell. Then you’ll know if I’m telling the truth or not. I want to know the truth. There are four days of missing time that I lost, and I want to know what happened in those days.”

“No!” Pashanda said. “I will not do the spell if my own son plans to take the blame regardless of the result.”

“Luckily, I know how to do the spell myself,” Gaveshan said. “You taught me your craft well, didn’t you, Father?”

Pashanda went from very red to very white.

“Elder Pashanda,” Elder Jaya said in a tone like an iron vice. “I suggest you sit down and stay silent, unless you’d like to find yourself in that chair under interrogation in her place.”

Her fellow elders murmured agreement. Pashanda took his seat at the head of the council, gripping the table with white knuckles.

“Alright, Gaveshan,” Speckled-Elder said, sitting back down. “Conduct the spell.”

Gaveshan nodded. The first thing he did was untie you.

“Why?” You asked him as he did so. You were having trouble processing what had just happened and it was the only word you could verbalize.

“I thought a lot about everything you said,” He replied. “I just couldn’t understand why you’d come here and submit to judgment but still lie about telling the humans about the colony. I mean, if you came believing you were going to die, you had nothing to gain from lying. The only thing I could conclude is that you were telling the truth. You always had been.” He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, Primrose. I should have had more faith in you.”

The tears fell freely down your face. “I forgive you. Of course I forgive you.”

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I am grateful.” He took your hand and squeezed it. “Let’s begin. Don’t be afraid. It’ll be uncomfortable at times, but I’ll be here.”

You wiped your tears and nodded.

A table was set next to your chair, and a tray with different components was placed upon it. Gaveshan poured a fruity smelling drink into a simple wooden cup from a decanter.

“This is blessed ritual wine,” He said. “I made it myself.”

“You make wine?” You said, smiling.

He smiled in return. “Just for rituals. Drinking wine for pleasure is prohibited within settlements. Inebriation and great heights don’t mix.”

You nodded understanding. “So is this designed to help me feel spiritual?”

“Partly,” He said, smiling. “It’s also partly to calm your nerves and occupy you while I get the ritual ready.” He dipped a finger into the wine of the decanter and drew a sigil on your forehead. “This is really the important part, as far as the actual spell goes.”

“Ah,” You said, sipping the wine. You weren’t much of a drinker, but this was really good. He placed herbs into a censer and lit it, letting the scent of the burning spices and flowers fill your nose. As you continued to sip the wine, you began to feel sleepy. You weren’t sure if this is how it was supposed to feel, but you didn’t want to interrupt Gaveshan while he was working.

Few more minutes passed, and your heartbeat began to surge. You felt hot, like you should be sweating, but you weren’t. Your mouth had gone dry and your vision was tunneling out. Before you could say anything, you felt yourself slip out of your seat and everything went black. The last thing you saw was the entire room rise to their feet, several of them rushing toward you. Gaveshan dropped what he was holding and fell to his knees to catch you before you hit the ground.

The next few days were a haze of pain and visions. You couldn’t tell what was real and what were dreams. You could hear screams, and it didn’t occur to you that it was your screams. You saw Gaveshan there beside your bed whenever you opened your eyes. At times he was the grown Gaveshan, and sometimes he was Geyarajan, the friend of your childhood. Both versions held your hand and talked to you. You couldn’t tell if the conversations were real or not.

“I’m sorry,” He said mournfully one night. He kept vacillating between the older and the younger versions of himself. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I never meant to hurt you, I swear.”

“I know that,” You said, your voice raspy from the dryness. “Don’t be sorry.”

“I would never forgive myself if you died because of me,” He told you. “You’re my best friend.” He clutched your hand and kissed your knuckles, tears streaming down his face. “I love you, Primrose.”

You touched his cheek with your fingertips. “I love you, too, Rajan.”

Blackness took you again and you slept.

When you were finally back to true awareness, you woke up in a hut. From the light coming in through the door, you guessed it was either late evening or early morning. Gaveshan was sitting propped up on a stool, sleeping. A little bit of drool was dripping from the corner of his mouth and he snored a little. You smiled at him fondly. It reminded you of the night the two of you went swimming at midnight, and he fell asleep in the moss waiting for his feathers to dry. You two may be grown ups now, but it seemed not everything had changed.

Elder Mari entered the hut with a bowl in her hands and a towel over her shoulder.

“Ah, are you awake?” She asked.

“I think so,” You said. “What happened?”

As she stepped in, Gaveshan woke up. He peered around him groggily, but came to alertness as soon as he saw you focused on his face.

“Are you alright?” He asked, taking up your hand. “Are you yourself again? You’ve been having fits for days.”

“What happened?” You asked again.

“You were poisoned,” Elder Mari said grimly. “Belladonna. The inside of your cup was lined with it. It didn’t help that your stomach was empty, so there was nothing to dilute it.”

“They thought it was from the wine at first,” Gaveshan said. “They suspected me. I was close to being locked up before my father confessed.” He grimaced. “I guess that’s is how you must have felt when I accused you.”

“It doesn’t feel good, does it?” You asked softly.

He shook his head and avoided your eye. “Apparently he had done it before when you were a child but miscalculated the dosage and didn’t give you enough to kill you. It’s why you couldn’t remember anything.” He scrubbed his face and groaned in aggravation. “I can’t believe my father tried to kill you. Twice!”

“Why?” You asked, shocked.

“According to him,” Mari said. “It was because he perceived you as a threat, both to his family and the colony. He told us that he was taking you back to the humans, but his real plan was to poison you and drop you somewhere in the forest where no one would find you. Apparently he hadn’t given you enough and you started hallucinating, screaming and becoming combative. He didn’t know what else to do, so he dropped you at the edge of the forest and fled. How you got to the village is still a mystery. You may have walked there, unable to feel the pain of your leg in your delirium.”

“Gods,” You breathed. “What will happen to him?”

“Well,” Mari said. “Our culture doesn’t believe in the death penalty, so he will be banished, which for our kind is a sort of death sentence. We’re not sure of the extent of Hemakshi’s involvement, but we know she was at least aware of his actions. Her punishment is still being determined.”

Gaveshan’s face was as hard as stone. “Is it my fate for everyone I love to betray me?”

“I didn’t,” You told him softly, brushing your hand against his cheek.

He leaned into your touch and wrapped his fingers around your wrists gently. “No, you didn’t. And I’m sorry I spent almost half my life believing you did.”

“It’s alright,” You said. “It’s in the past.”

He sighed and kissed your palm. “I’m ashamed of the damage my family has caused, to you and to the colony. How can I show my face after this?”

“It’s not your fault,” Mari said. “You are not responsible for their misdeeds.”

“Even still,” He said. “Life has changed for me. Again. I don’t know what I’ll do now.”

“You could take your father’s place as master sorcerer,” Mari said.

He shook his head with a frown. “That was never my calling. And I don’t want his title, either way.”

“Whatever you decide,” Mari said. “The council has cleared both you and the young woman here of any wrongdoings. She is free to leave. Or to stay.”

Gaveshan looked at you pensively. “Would you like to stay here?”

You weren’t sure. “I’d like a nice hot bath, honestly, before I go making any decisions. I’m so sore and I feel awful.”

“I’m sure,” Mari said. “You spent a good amount of time screaming and thrashing and talking to no one. You wouldn’t eat or take water. You nearly died.”

You stared at her. “That’s not comforting.”

“It’s the truth,” She said. “I figured, after everything, that would be something you could appreciate.”

“True,” You said, sighing.

Mari bathed you privately later and helped you relieve yourself since you were too weak to go on your own, which was a little embarrassing. Afterward, Gaveshan came back with your meal. You were surprised to learn he had cooked all of your meals while you’d been on the island.

You spent a week in recovery, and Gaveshan was with you the entire time. Now that he believed you, it was as if the two of you had never been apart. You just talked; talked to each other as if no time had passed between you. You told him about the city and the arena, and he told you about the aftermath of the colony’s destruction. It was natural an effortless.

“So, what will you do now?” He asked, sitting next to your cot and toying with a strand of your hair. “Will you go back to the city?”

“I can’t,” You replied. “I’m a fugitive.”

“Won’t you miss your parents?”

“My parents are good people, but we’ve never been on the same page, really. I honestly think this would be better for all of us.”

“You could stay here,” He ventured. “Stay with me.”

“It’s sort of my only option,” You said. “It’s not a bad option, don’t get me wrong, I’d love to stay with you no matter what. But… I don’t know if I could feel at home here. I have a few friends among your people, and I’m sure most of the folks here would treat me kindly, but… I don’t know.”

“Hmm,” He said, stroking your hair away from your face. “Maybe there’s a third option.”

“What is it?” You asked.

He sat back and studied your face with a smile. “Do you feel up to taking a short trip with me?”

“Where to?”

“One of the smaller satellite islands,” He said. “I want to show you something.”

“Okay,” You said. He stood and held out his hands for yours. You took them and followed him out of the medicine hut.

He took you out to the edge of Beast Island, where you could see three other small islands about a stone’s throw away. He pointed to the closest one.

“That’s where I grow the fruit and make the wine,” He said. “It’s my own little safe place. I go there for the quiet and to be alone. I’ve never let anyone come near it.” He picked you up bridal style and said, “Do you trust me?”

You rolled your eyes and bonked his shoulder. He laughed.

“Silly question, I guess.” With that, he launched himself off the cliff and let his wings unfurl, sliding effortlessly over to the island, settling down on the ground before you could count to ten. “There. Made it in one piece. Nothing broken.”

You climbed down and gave him a sour look. “Not funny.”

He grinned. “Sorry.” He took your hand and led you into the brush. After a few minutes, the grass and shrubbery opened up into a clearing full of grape vines on trellises made of whippy branches, along with young fruit trees, berry bushes, and crates with wine that was aging. There was also a smallish hut where you surmised Gaveshan stayed when he was tending his crops.

“You did all this yourself?” You asked.

“Yes,” He said. “I really enjoy it. It’s the only thing that’s brought me contentment since the colony’s ruin and our people’s division. And…” He cleared his throat and looked away. “After you disappeared.”

“I didn’t disappear, I moved,” You said. “It wasn’t my choice.”

“See it from my perspective,” He said. “My family, my people as a whole, are in the midst of a tremendous upheaval, grieving and homeless, our lives turned upside down. The only constant I had left is suddenly gone, and it was as if I had lost the last thread holding my entire world together.”

“But you hated me,” You said.

He shook his head. “I was upset and didn’t know what to believe. I only knew what my parents told me. They forbade me from going back to see you, and we had to relocate, so it took time before I could get away. When I finally did, I went to talk to you, but you were gone.” He paused and looked out over the crops. “Do you know what _Gaveshan_ means?”

“No.”

“_The Searcher,_” He said. “When I couldn’t find you, even though I was angry, I looked for you. I went to every human and non-human town I could, looking for you. I went to every settlement, every family cluster, every small out of the way place, hoping I’d find you. I never thought to look in the city. Even if I had, it was too far to fly. I was angry, but…” His voice broke. “I wanted to know you were alright.” He stared at his feet, his lip trembling.

“Gaveshan, look at me,” You said, putting a hand under his chin. He looked at you with sorrow and regret, his eyes swimming with tears.

“Would you… could you call me Rajan?” He asked quietly. “Please?”

You pressed your forehead against his and smiled. “Only if you’ll sing to me.”

He laughed self-consciously through his tears. “It’s been some time since I last sang anything. I may not be very good anymore.”

“I don’t care,” You said. “I just love the sound of your voice.”

He chuckled and pulled you in, wrapping his arms around your waist. You threw your arms around his neck, and while he sang, the two of you danced in place. He pulled you close, singing sweetly into your ear, the warmth of his body radiating into yours. His voice was every bit as beautiful as it had been when he was a boy.

When he was finished, you kissed him. It was natural and wonderful and as sweet as you remembered. Except… it wasn’t as innocent as it used to be. It was deeper and searching and testing. His grip on your body intensified and his breathing became faster and shallower. Whatever chemicals that were rushing through his body, you could feel them coursing through your veins as well. His hands roamed your body, looking for a way to free you from your clothes. He grunted in frustration.

“These things are highly impractical,” He said, tugging at your bodice.

“Not when it’s cold out,” You said with a laugh. “Come on.”

You took him by hand to the hut and opened the door. It was small and cozy, with a cooking pit in the middle of the room and a pile of furs that he slept on in the far corner.

“I suppose you’re used to something far grander than this,” He said, but not in a haughty way, just stating a fact.

“Grand is overrated,” You said. “This is perfect.”

He smiled and kissed you again, leading you to the furs. You instructed him to sit and began to undress. You made a little bit of a show of it, not sure if he would get anything out of that since his entire culture didn’t wear clothing.

You shouldn’t have worried. Halfway through, his cock was standing to attention from a slit in his groin and he gazed at you hungrily. When you’d shed all of your garments and stood naked before him, he held out a hand for you. You took it and knelt down where he sat, pressing your lips to his. He grabbed you suddenly, making you giggle, and placed you underneath him. Your heart began to pound with instinctual fear, but you tried to push it down.

“I can feel your heart trying to escape your chest,” He said, kissing your neck. “Are you alright?”

“Just nervous,” You told him. “First time and all that.”

He perched up on his hands and looked down. “You waited for me?”

You chuckled. “I was the weird kid. It wasn’t so much that I waited than no one would have me. And I wasn’t looking, honestly.”

You didn’t ask if he had waited for you. It didn’t matter, he was with you now. The past was the past. It was time to begin considering the future, which was something you hadn’t thought possible before.

You felt his length nudging you from below, and a stab of nervousness hit you again, but you wanted this badly. You opened your legs wide and ran your fingers through his hair. He kneaded and massaged your breasts with one hand while propping himself up on the other. His head bent down and his tongue came out, flicking over the nipple and you sighed, gripping his hair tighter.

He sucked your nipple into his mouth and reached down with his free hand, slicking it down with your natural lubricant. You didn’t realize how wet you had gotten until he touched you and two of his fingers slipped right in. You gasped at the unfamiliar sensation, but it wasn’t painful.

“Are you alright?” He asked, studying your face.

“Yes,” You replied breathlessly.

“Have you touched yourself before?” He asked.

“Not like this,” You told him.

“I’ll be careful, then,” He whispered, kissing your ear, cheek, and corner of your eye. He sat up and slowly moved his fingers in and out, watching your expression for discomfort. You pet your fingers down his chest and stomach muscles, biting your lip. He moved to sit beside you so that you could touch him, while using three of his fingers to circle your pearl, rubbing back and forth slowly, but gaining speed as he went on. You reached across and took his organ in your hand, stroking it experimentally. He seemed to like it, biting his own lip and smiling at you.

A few minutes of teasing each other passed quite nicely, and you reached for him, more than ready. He laid himself on top of you and slicked himself down with your wetness, positioning himself and sliding slowly inside you. There was a pressure from the width of him that was slightly uncomfortable, but it didn’t hurt. His body was flush with yours as he pulled himself into and out of you. You enjoyed the weight of him on your body, the friction of where the two of you were joined slowly wore away at the discomfort until a swelling pleasure took its place.

He kissed your lips and neck and chest as he thrust, carefully at first, but as your body became less tense and more receptive, he sped up and thrust with more confidence. He listened to you, encouraged by the little sounds you made. You wrapped your arms around him, gripping his back, your fingers curling, threading through the feathers of his back, his wings unfurled behind him.

You felt a gush of fluid flow out of you, and you looked down, frowning. That had never happened before.

“Sorry,” You said.

“No, no,” He said. “That’s good. It happens, usually when you’re enjoying yourself. You are, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am,” You assured him. “It feels nice.”

“It gets better,” He said, pushing deeper. He put an arm under your knee and pushed it up, allowing him to get a better angle and rub against that sweet spot much easier. You moaned in surprise pleasure. Spurred on, he quickened his pace.

It took no time at all in this position for you to reach your peak, and you screamed out loudly as it came. Bless this island for being so far away from the main one.

He hadn’t finished yet and was going at a frenetic pace. He managed to pull another one from you before he gritted his teeth, grunted over and over, and released inside you, his entire body tensing and jerking.

Finally, he collapsed onto you, flapping his wings weakly to fan your overheated bodies. The breeze was actually very nice. He moved to the side of you and pulled you close to him as the two of you caught your breath.

“So,” You said eventually. “You said something about a third option. Is this little piece of heaven what you meant?”

“Not exactly,” He said. “I started making wine for ritual purposes, but there aren’t nearly enough rituals for the amount I make. I was thinking of maybe going to the mainland and opening a vineyard. Maybe actually sell it for a profit. I’d still send some to the colonies for ritual purposes, but it’s a shame to let so much of it go to waste.”

“Whoa,” You said. “That’s… a really good idea. Do you have any idea where you’d go?”

“I made some friends on the mainland in my search for you,” He said. “A family that’s mixed, humans and non-humans. I mentioned it to them once in passing when I was visiting and they said if I was ever serious, they’d help me get started.” He sat up and looked down at you. “Is that something you’d like to do with me?”

You smiled at him. “I’d follow you anywhere. Should you change your name again, since Gaveshan doesn’t suit you anymore?”

“I think I’m going to go back to Geyarajan,” He said with a grin. “I have a feeling I’ll have a lot to sing about from now on.”


End file.
